The lady didn’t like the blackberry stuff, but I do. Perhaps my palette is damaged, perhaps we simply have differing opinions on how blackberries are supposed to taste (and let’s face it — on my budget there aren’t many fresh berries in my life).

It is a tad bitter, though at this point it seems that most of the things I drink are — perhaps that’s my problem? I’ve definitely had better fruit teas (all courtesy of Dandan; god only knows where she gets all of them). But, to me at least, it does a pretty serviceable job of tasting like blackberries and giving me something noncaffeinated to drink at night. I’m even somewhat convinced that if I had steeped it for less time it would be less bitter, but that might not be true.

Oh but don’t spill it anywhere, because it’s actually the purplest thing in the world. I may have to boil the pair of pants I was wearing to get the stain out.

So I guess what I’m saying is: you should try it if you want something adequate and aren’t physically inept.

Just call me Mr. Positive.

For kind of a while now, I’ve been on a dark coffee kick. From a strictly political standpoint, that’s dangerous; some would claim it’s a slippery slope from there to being another Starbucks drone. I disagree; I think that 20% of the problem with Starbucks is soporific music, and the other 80% is the fact that most of their beverages no longer classify as coffee. They certainly do roast their beans a bit dark, and that may not be to everybody’s liking, but that’s a standard coffee-house aesthetic decision, and not a sign of the apocalypse.

So, after working my way through a pound or so of some Viennese Roast that I bought out of the bin at the local co-op, I found myself at Trader Joe’s in desperate need of coffee.

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Let’s face it. Wine is an acquired taste. Unless of course you’re fairly Mediterranean in origin, in which case I might even argue, it’s still an acquired taste, you just acquired it at an age that you don’t have any memories of. It’s hard to remember, after discovering wine, how much you disliked it before, and so, when a non-wino stayed with me over the summer, I was continually surprised by what she did and did not like. I did my best to test out new wines in hopes that we might find a collection of easy-going wines that could be shared over dinner… and so here’s a primer, if you ever have to introduce a non-drinking friend to wine.

1. Mixing with fruit juice is a start. Sangria, as we all know, is the nectar of the gods. A shiraz/merlot mixed with some pomegranate juice is half the reason why I started drinking wine. Bellinis (white peach puree & prosecco) & mimosas (orange juice & champagne) are always well-liked. However, none of this being actual real wine, I find that it doesn’t prepare a person for liking the taste of just wine by itself. If anything, it sometimes causes a bit of a mental sour/bitter shock when the new wine drinker tries wine alone.
2. Thirst-quenching, boring, easy wines, without all the complexity that you find interesting, tend to be good. One that everyone’s liked so far is vinho verde, literally “green wine” in Portuguese. While not exactly “sparkling”, its got just the slightest hint of a carbonated kick. Goes down easy, and incredibly cheap to boot. I think Trader Joe’s has a $4 version that’s pretty decent.
3. Sweet wines work well. Sweet German reislings, especially cheaper table wines ones like Kabinett, worked wonderfully.It’s a hard balance, though, of finding one that’s just sweet enough without being an overpowering dessert-type wine. In this regard, I’ve had more like finding friendlier wines in the cheap category, rather than the riper category of German wines, or, spätleses (p.s. Germany, can ya pleeease do something about your wine classification system? something a little more understandable for us mere Earthlings?).
4. However, low alcohol content is more important than sweetness. Or at the very least, the scent of a low alcohol content wine. I had a flash of brilliance one day; I should give my friend some port! Port is sweet! Port is delicious! She’ll love port! Well, let’s just say that experiment failed horribly, despite a lovely Stilton blue cheese accompaniment. Apparently port reeks of pure ethanol, and made it completely unpalatable. So I guess the fortified dessert wines are out. In retrospect though, I should have tried other dessert wines that are less hardcore than port, such as a nice cream sherry, or a Sauternes. Supposedly everyone likes ice wine (but props to you if you can afford it).
5. Of course, we all know that people generally start with white wines before discovering they enjoy reds too. I’ve had good luck with white zinfandels and some white wine blends. Chardonnays tended to be hit-and-miss, while sauvignon blanc didn’t seem to work well at all. Roses tended to be very accessible. For the first red wines, try fruit-filled table wines, such as a Portuguese tinto, or perhaps an easy pinot noir. Try to stay away from darker, fuller red wines (that first taste can be put off a first-time reds drinker for years), especially cabernets, shirazes, or gawd forbid, something like a Côte du Rhône.
6. Despite what happens, keep on trying! Mustn’t let anyone, much less a good friend, miss out on the wonderful and delicious world that is wine.

Rather than argue over whether or not vinaigrette counts as a liquid and therefore, eligible for a blog post (which, being slightly stupid and inebriated, Neil & I did discuss at length), I figure I’ll just post it up.

The bottle cap of this Trader Joe’s balsamic vinaigrette came off looking exactly like this — no human manipulation! Another sign of how awesome Trader Joe’s is?

(And for those who care — vinaigrette, being a oil-in-water emulsion, is about half aqueous. Good enough!)

I wonder if that’s grammatically correct Italian? There’s basically no chance, actually. But whatever.

Sometimes I like to drink things that are neither alcoholic, hot, nor tap water — weird, I know. There aren’t a whole lot of liquids that fill that bill, especially since I stopped drinking soda in college. At the time, it was mostly because I wanted to keep having teeth and a functioning pancreas, but since then my palate has shifted enough that I don’t really have much of a sweet tooth anymore.

I do drink fruit juice, but most of it is either too expensive or too sweet/mostly apple juice. Trader Joe’s sells some excellent juices and cocktails, and it would take an entire entry to even provide a respectable cross-section. I’ll save that for another time and just cut to the chase.

• 1 part Trader Joe’s 100% Pomegranate Juice (it comes in a glass bottle and will stain anything. You could drink certain other brands but they tend to cost about twice as much.)
• 1 part sparkling water (if you have to ask what flavor, you’re doing it wrong)

That’s it.

In my opinion, it’s a great combination. It’s not too sweet, it’s a lot lighter than straight pomegranate juice, and, unlike pretty much everything that calls itself “juice” these days, I don’t mind thinking about what’s in it. I’ve been drinking this with dinner the last couple of nights, and it really hits the spot. I’m sure it would work just as well with (real) cranberry or blueberry juice, too.

Of course, it would probably be alright with gin or maybe vodka in it, too. Hmm…

I have a terrible impulsive of buying tea everywhere I go, even when I haven’t had good experiences with the particular merchant in question. This weekend, I found myself gaping at a whole wall of tea at the Edgewater Trader Joe’s and perhaps it was just the luxury of standing in a TJ’s without being shoved into walls by Manhattanite yuppies that pushed me over the edge of rational decision-making, but I ended up buying 2 packs of Trader Joe’s tea, even though my two previous TJ tea experiences have been bad, bordering on terrible. Ahh, why do I not learn from history @_@;;.

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